From the pen of a woman of obligations and a silent warrior:
‘’I was a good student, a voracious reader and a good writer at times when thoughts sharpened its edges. But now… where am I lost?
Once I hated those mourning serials which were packed with negativity. I always loved to look at the perky side of life and I was filled with determination and hope to change the unjust conventions and to some extent, I hope I did. But now, I am left with no other option other than to look at those mourning and lackluster soaps. I wonder; am I addicted to these things or am I being forced to being the typical one?
Is this the life after marriage and kids? Sometimes I feel as though I am lost in a beautiful maze which makes you want to laugh and smile throughout but yet it gives you the feeling that you are trapped inside it no matter how sugar-coated and lucrative it may seem. I know deep down that somewhere I lack the warmth of my passion which made me want to rise above the skies once upon a time.
Soon after marriage, a woman’s life changes, at the beginning, everything seems to be a gift, even the hurdles would seem to be a present wrapped with thorny wrapper. It’s all beautiful, filled with surprise, delight, romance and dreams.
Then, life takes its turn to surprise us all of a sudden; it changes the woman to be a more responsible person. Expectations and hopes of people around us rise higher and when you fail to meet them, there is an unavoidable grief that grows within you because of the so-called wise advice and comments. There is nothing wrong in having new obligations and duties by your side because it is bound to happen to everyone. But there is something wrong within us and the blame is not to be burdened on anybody else. The fault is ours. We lose a part of ourselves in the wonderland finding a new treasure without knowing that the treasure is nothing other than your ‘passionate self’.
I forgot my favorite book, author and even some of my friends. But that forgetfulness wasn’t forced by anyone, now I realize that it was my fault that I let myself loose when I had to be rigid trying to hold onto my passion and fervor even when other things seemed striking.
There may be numerous changes taking place in your life, but you are you and nobody else other than you can find the missing part of the puzzle called life! No matter how long we drift away from our ‘youth’, a woman’s life turns out to be the same but it only takes a different exterior. Nothing changes internally; an onlooker may find that you have changed, but nothing within you has changed if you are still finding a part of you that is lost. When you realize that you still burn with passion and know that something has to be dug out; trust me you are not the looser.
If you haven’t found until now, why fret? Search for the real you after your kids or even grandchildren, but never give up. Once, you had a dream to be fulfilled and those dreams weren’t the ones which you saw during your sleep, those were something which didn’t let you sleep; and that’s what you are searching for! Never underestimate yourself, you are not a burden; dear woman, you are a blessing and if you consider yourself timid and weak; you are simply underestimating the power of the lioness slumbering within you. Let it out and be a gentle lioness!’’
So, those were the humble words of my aunt who is in a way my inspiration. I hope I have put her thoughts rightly. I couldn’t wait to put this particular article on my blog as I am extremely inclined towards the subject of feminism, women power etc. etc. As much as I know, women are the best dreamers but only some of them have fought for their dreams as warriors. Let us change the perspective of women being the timid persona of our society. Some of the women out there have found themselves long ago as they didn’t care about those gawking looks that the society gave them. The perspective of others don't always matter because when you change the way how you perceive different things in your life, eventually things take a turn and you will find the world revolving around you. Occurrences need not be favourable every time but every other occurrence has a meaning of its own and the mystery is best unveiled. What would our life be without a little exploration to find a huge mystery?