Thursday, 15 December 2016

Where to Look? (Fitnah all around you say? Read this!)

In the name of Allah, The Most Merciful and The Most Beneficent. 
‘’Everything psychological is biological’’ said some of the most revolutionary thinkers of the past. Thinkers who were solely dedicated to the field of psychology. Now, psychology isn’t the only thing I wish to talk about here, this post is to delve deeper into the sociological and Islamic issue. 
More than ever before, we have been hearing about the insecurities projected towards women. I say ‘hearing’ because quite directly put, this is not the worst of times. Infact, barbarism was in its finest shape when people were extremely barbaric. The only difference between then and now is that now we lay greater emphasis on education as we believe that the certain tool is directly relative to civility/chivalry, which might be partially true. But there is always more to the world than what we see. 
In any given society, and especially in the community I have been exposed to, I hear some of the most incredulous arguments put forth that ‘rationalize’ the moves of some lowly men and women too. It has been reported that one in three women are exposed to some amount of sexual harassment in their lifetime. The statistics might scare you, but each and every one of us, women, are witnesses to it. Smooth and flat, men humbly and proudly state that ‘we’, the women have brought it upon ourselves. 
Now before you draw that sword out from the satchel to slay my words, hear me out. I do not believe in immodesty. I do not believe in women seeking validation from the very crooks who do not dignify her. I do not believe that women have to go against God’s commandment to guard our modesty. I firmly believe that women are bound to embrace modesty and guard their assets, not because we want to ‘protect’ men’s feelings, rather because that is the honour that God has bestowed upon us. 

Back to square one, men and surprisingly, or not so surprisingly, many women state that the number of sexual assault cases have been increasing drastically because of the personal choices of a woman. When the case hits the headlines stating ‘woman harassed in a bus stop’ or anything of that sort, the society rises on its feet to barge into her ‘secluded’ world, and know how she dresses and dressed when the incident occurred, and also to admonish her for letting herself loose in the hands of the goon. And I ask the world, have you lost your mind? 
Fairly speaking, the one at fault is the man who laid his disgusting fingers on the girl who didn’t ask for it. Sure, what she wore must have not been acceptable to you, but how do you accept that a man’s hormone is everything that controls him within? How do you accept that it is in his ‘biology’ to do everything that he prefers to do? How do you accept that ‘women’, even the ones at your own home are merely objects who deserve to be subjugated to the vilest acts just because of who they are? If you believed that it is the ‘biology’ alone, then breaking it quite clearly, you need to accept that it is in the ‘biology’ of a woman to want to look and feel beautiful. So, by your argument, the woman isn’t at fault too. How vile has the world become to abandon the morals and ethics that we had been taught in the past? One’s nature does not normalize the disgusting acts put forth by him. 
Now coming to the Muslim community, where thousands of men and women believe firmly that it is all the ‘woman’s fault. Why? They have got this argument which goes somewhat like this: God Knew the nature of men, which is why He asked the women to cover. If she doesn’t do so, how can we ever blame the man?’’ Because Oh holy zamzam water! Men are absolutely noble and benevolent individuals that they just can’t ever commit anything wrong! If this is what the Muslims have learned from the Quran and Sunnah, and the Islamic history, then it is extremely distressing to admit that we haven’t learned much at all. In fact, nothing authentic. 
People out there throw the words like, ‘fitnah’ (trials and tribulation) and ‘haraam’ (forbidden) so carelessly. According to them, more than ever before, ‘fitnah’ is at the peak at the moment, which can also be said to be true. But what they basically mean is the fitnah pertaining to immodesty, as women these days choose to dress immodestly. And this for the Muslim brothers out there and the sisters is the main cause of the internal disturbances, and all the blame must be put on women because the men just couldn’t lower their gazes! How incredulous! 
If you ever, I mean ever in your life decide to read through the pages of Islamic history, or at least pick up the book of Seerah-Un-Nabi (biography of Prophet (Peace be upon him), you will find that ‘fitnah’ by all means was widespread across the deserts of Arabia. Talk about haraam of the three W’s, and it was just everywhere. Wine, Women and Wealth. Those three had been the 'be all and end all’. 
Just picture this, there is this land where men are drowning in the scent of wine, and giving it up is just out of question. Where men take pleasure in the women they want, where daughters were buried alive and wealth could just be acquired in any manner. Be it Riba (interest), or the 40 thieves stealing the gold mountains! Amidst such a situation, and also while other vile acts evolved in the community, Islam entered in the most blessed manner. The religion had been introduced as the ‘truth’ and as the religion of peace. It didn’t condemn the acts they were doing at first, rather laid its fundamentals at first and grasped the community by its sheer eloquence. It gradually cleared the roots of evil. 
The Quran and Sunnah changed the hardest of hearts into the most blessed ones. Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (R.A) was one of the strongest men who consumed wine interminably during the days of ignorance. After he had embraced Islam and the verse which prohibited alcohol was revealed, he gave up drinking altogether. Why? For the sake of Allah, for the love of Him, for the fear of Him and to attain complete purity. What lesson does this teach us? 
We learn that it is not the presence of evil that turns us evil, rather our association with evil. The community which states that men can’t lower their gaze or keep their hands to themselves because it is in their ‘fitrah’ to be attracted towards women boundlessly, then know that it is in his ‘fitrah’ to fear and love Allah. What then has pushed him to commit the evil act? 
Clearly, his own inability to control his desires and to satiate the animal within him. Lowering the gaze is a commandment which men and women must adhere to, it is not a choice. Covering up in the right manner is a commandment revealed to men and women, it is not a choice. Looking at women in a way that disgusts anyone out there is not because it is in their hormones, but because they have let the devil play in the finest manner. If we truly followed Sunnah, we wouldn’t be playing the blame game. Rather, we would take the blame upon ourselves and truly accept that we have sinned. Yes, by law you would perhaps look towards them, but anything that is more than that is completely unacceptable. As our Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said, One look is allowed, and the next becomes haram. 
He (Peace be upon him) did not admonish and threaten women if a man lost his control, rather he ensured that the men stay in their noble bounds. An authentic hadeeth clearly reflects this: Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas (Radi Allahu anhu): "Al-Fadl bin Abbas rode behind Allah's Messenger (Sal Allahu alaihi wa Sallam) as his companion rider on the back portion of his she-camel on the day of Nahr (slaughtering of sacrifice, 10th Dhul-Hijja) and Al-Fadl was a handsome man. The Prophet (Sal Allahu alaihi was Sallam) stopped to give the people verdicts (regarding their matters). In the meantime, a beautiful woman from the tribe of Khatham came, asking the verdict of Allah's Messenger. Al-Fadl started looking at her as her beauty attracted him. The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) looked behind while Al-Fadl was looking at her; so the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa Sallam) held out his hand backwards and caught the chin of Al-Fadl and turned his face (to the other side) in order that he should not gaze at her. (Sahih Bukhari) 
That hadeeth up there shows that the Prophet didn’t blame the woman as she chose to show her beauty (not aware what she had got covered), rather he shifted the chin of the Sahaba to stress on the point that ‘he’ must NOT be looking at her. When we read the Islamic history, we would know that at the times of ignorance, some women didn’t even choose to clothe themselves. Nudity wasn’t confined to the virtual devices back then, rather it was out in the open. The believers lived amidst these conditions, and they stayed in bounds. They didn’t go around screaming ‘fitnah!’, ‘Fitnah’, rather they remained low key and relieved their desires in a halal manner and kept it all under control.  
Akhi (my brother), if there is a will, there is a way. In our community, we need to learn to stop playing the blame game. You cannot just fault the girl for wearing jeans to have aroused the man, rather it was his fault to have behaved miserably! She could walk around with anything, if one truly controlled the whispers of the devil and feared God and maintained his modesty, he would know exactly where to look. 
Ukhthi (my sister), stop seeking validation from men. You have been commanded to dress modestly, for the sake of you. You are the one to be honored, you have been given this command by Allah. This is not in the interests of Dunya alone, it is in the interest of hereafter too. Just because you want to flaunt your beauty, don’t trade the true honour that you have been blessed with. You are so much more than a pretty thing. You are a woman of power, intellect, choice and most importantly Deen. Guard thy hearts, and guard thy body. 

Friday, 8 July 2016


So now empaths have a real problem. The problem of not belonging to anything or anywhere because perhaps they are considered too good to live or someone who is naive. Quite honestly, they are not naive, but they are the ones who constantly struggle to find happiness by doing the littlest of deeds.
You see in a world full of stingy people, there are those who truly want to give.
No this isn't to show off, this is to really reflect because it hurts deep down when your actions are belittled by people and they say that some of us don't know to live.
Yes the bills are going up and oh yes you NEED to buy that resort, that phone, yeah it is a must! You HAVE to get it! But....these things just don't make sense to some people. I was hurt deeply whenever my actions were too alienated and belittled. But then as I sat to reflect upon how my life was turning out, I recalled the actions of the greatest human who had walked on this earth, that one person who makes me cry when I think about him, that one person who fills my heart...that one person who gives me so much hope to live. Our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassalam. How I crave to meet him!
That was a man of empathy, who dared not to be stingy, who would give up his food for others, who wouldn't ever complain about food, or say no when others asked him for something... His heart was gold. No, purer than that. If he would have cared about what people said or did, how could this Ummah stand proud and huge today? Alhamdulilah.
And his character was so beautiful that it shaped others' lives, his wife Ayesha radhi'allahu anha used to perfume the charity she gave to the poor people, and she would give so much that sometimes she wouldn't have anything for herself, yet she remained content. Do you know why? Because she was so beautiful and a woman of tawakkul that she just didn't mind about the worldly elements.
I would be considered a cave woman by some when I try to reason with these examples, but to me or to any of you, their stories should never get old. This disease of love for Dunya has blinded us, the truth of this life was realized by our beloved forefathers who gave and smiled. True happiness is that. To give. For the sake of Allah. To share happiness. When you withhold your money and keep hoarding up, NOTHING is going to make you happy. In the end, it ain't about the paper notes, but the beautiful smiles etched in others' faces because of you.
If you too feel like you don't belong here, then welcome home stranger, just know that perhaps you have this beautiful home up there in the heavens, for Allah loves your deeds when you do it for His sake alone. People will laugh at you and taunt you, but its okay, we dont belong. May the strangers be blessed. Our hearts ain't with us , it is with the Turner of Hearts.

Thursday, 28 April 2016

Have You Tied the Camel?

I read a quote recently that went somewhat along these lines, 'The best feeling of happiness is when you are happy just because you have made others happy.'
On reading that, I did feel really happy and it also got me thinking about those who only make others happy. How do they feel? Those people who would let their dreams get crushed just because they would want to see others happy, how would they feel? Is that what we should call wise? 
Making others happy is wonderful. That gives you a feeling of contentment. But there are some of us who give too much of ‘us’ away to reach the bars set by others. Some may have put you up on pedestal, may be your statue, and are asking you to climb up there so that the statue could get its life back. But don’t be too taken away, know that those bars don’t define you. 
That statue isn’t you. You know who you are, you know your worth, and you know what you want to do, so do that. Set your bars, set it generously. Don’t be a miser. I know you don’t set it all high because you simply think you are not all that great, but drop the perception now! You are! Believe in yourself. 
 If you aren’t ready to let the world know about your dream, then make it your reality, they will know. Set your bars reasonably high because no one else will do it for you. You got to do it, you know the laws. Be practical, but also let your heart feel. Don’t ignore feelings, don’t  just think its all mind work, its mostly the heart. Make sure it loves you for what you’ve done for it.
So, why this title? What has it got anything to do with tying the camel? The following is the authentic  hadeeth:
Anas ibn Malik reported: A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, should I tie my camel and trust in Allah, or should I untie her and trust in Allah?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Tie her and trust in Allah.”
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2517
You see what's that Hadeeth about. It talks about two most important things : 1. Doing 2. Trust in God. If we want something in our life, we need to do both of the aforementioned. Both the things are entwined, there is no imbalanced ratio. We have to try our best and leave it to Allah.
 There are three kinds of people, the ones who just do and don’t ask for it to God, there are people who just ask God for what they want and do nothing and there are people who do both of it. And as promised those people are granted what they want, if not spontaneously, sometime. Sometime that God thinks is the best time. 
Now that is where the test comes, the test of patience. When we ask for it, we might think we need it. We don’t know that every time is just not the right time to have something. Sometimes what we think we want now may be something we would actually need on a later date. Now want and need are two different things, so obviously you know what a wise person does. The person waits for the prayers to be answered after doing all that was needed for him to do. 
This is where your dreams come in. At this point you are the captain of the ship with the endless ocean of God’s Mercy pouring over you. Now the camel is in your hands, you have dreamt of something all day and night, but every morning you wake up, you find life telling you, ‘Hey I was just kidding about last night, you can't do all that now, can you?’ and then comes the mirror, where you are supposed to look at yourself, not just see. Your physique is in front of you, accept it. Accept yourself wholly, your perks and flaws. Flaws aren’t a thing of constant existence, they are something that can be turned into something absolutely beautiful. Your mind may scream at you to let all your dreams go and stop. But don’t listen! Listen to your heart and know what truly makes you happy. And do you know what it says?
Just do it. Pray it away!
Your efforts aren't futile, you might not always have a picture-perfect outcome, but in the end you will create something beautiful. This road is filled with tribulations and life sure has its own way of teaching lessons. And one of the ways is to let you feel like you’ve lost, but then again, you're the captain, steer through the storm of negativity, haven't you seen it yet? The shore you have been searching for? Exactly. YOU chose to steer clear and you’ve seen it. So now, must you settle? Of course not! Reaching this shore paves the way for reaching another, and that is why we humans are naturally spiritual beings and wanderlusts, we look for something bigger. But only some know to be content throughout the journey. Being content does not mean that you settle where you are just because you are happy with what you have, it is actually pretty nice thing to feel this way, but in life, every day should be a quest for excellence. 
Every other day we must move one step towards perfection, though it is impossible to be perfect. But we must try. Be happy, feel content with who you are and with what you are doing, but always know that you can always do better. That need not make you feel bad, that will make you feel better! 
So, have you tied the camel yet? If you haven’t, I think you should do it right away because time is never good or bad, it is what you make it. Once you trust yourself and pull out the rope to tie the camel, begin in the name of God and place all your trust in him. You CAN do what you want to do. 

Sunday, 10 April 2016

In the end.

Walking towards the colourful front,
something peculiar, it seems to be... 
I reach out to grab the colors, 
to paint my sorrows with the glee it boasts, 
As I reach out, it disappears into the whirling wind...
Why? I ask, but no answer. 
You are still a child, a voice in the back of my head said, sigh- society. 
Two roads leading to different destinations, 
Robert Frost all of sudden was writing in my brain, 
A joke to me, but a flat statement to all. 
But yes, two roads with different destinations did take its form right in front of his eyes, 
Not everyone got to choose one like Frost did...
So somehow men stepped into both and fell into pits each one held, 
and were glorified when they got up. 
The pitfalls of one was different from the other, 
the one who falls into a pit of one road has to wake up to be glorified, 
and one who falls into another road's pit should turn back 
and lose hope because this pit was right in the wrong road. 
The former doesn't always win, in fact he is more hurt, 
he walks and walks to approach the colorful front, 
he reaches out to paint his sorrows with glee, 
but it is indeed a mirage that disappears, 
but he walks... because he was in the right road with pits that were claimed to be wrong. 
Wrong was what it seemed, 
but in life walking on the bed of roses isn't always possible.
The man walks with his one foot in one road and the other in another, 
he did seem like a penguin, or a baby learning to walk, 
he was laughed at and taunted, 
one road pulled towards colors, 
the other one was filled with colors, 
so of course we know which one attracted him more, 
but he knew the latter's destination was mere darkness. 
Frightening darkness that had no hope, 
that would chain him up and taunt him even more, 
pleasure, it seemed for others...
but the demons dont attack when the birds chirp, 
but when crickets do... 
and not when everybody laughs, 
but when one lies in the pool of darkness of night.
Gladly, the penguin he seemed to be,
he was also as valiant as a lion,
For men who break bones aren't strong,
Rather who choose heart over head
And he did.
So he walked,
Soon the mirage turned into something hopeful,
The road which seemed to lead nowhere
Slowly unravelled to reveal something pure, serene...
Beyond the wordly feeling of success,
A sense of accomplishment ...
His dreams came true
With persistence
But that's not what made him feel so good,
It was the journey that mattered to him
He chose what others didn't,
He chose to be right to himself before being right in the eyes of others,
He chose to not to lie to himself,
He chose to love what he wanted
He chose to have faith
He chose to get up when he fell
He chose to feel accomplished,
And so he felt.
He was
A reassured soul that waited for its final abode.
Hopeful again, me being so meek
Wouldnt ask why,
Would walk through and dare to choose.
Like he did. A reassured soul is my final wish too.