Sipping the Pleasures, 'The New Hot!'

Billions of people, trillions of stories and infinite expressions. Diverse people, the same oxygen is what they breathe but yet each story of life untold with a twist and spice of its own. Some bad and some good, but one thing does hit the minds, everything did happen for good. Believe it or not; that is true. A loss of reputation or something dear to our heart like self-esteem causes a pain which is quite inexplainable. The feeling or the sorrow cannot be simply put into words for one may not understand even if the most mawkish words were used. But understanding happens only when an individual puts himself/herself into the other person’s shoes and look at the world from their eyes. At that moment, everything begins to make sense.

Too often, we humans have the tendency to get into a conclusion. Some may perceive an extreme form of good deed as a bad one and the others may do the vice-versa. But whatever the case maybe, we judge. There is a famous saying, ‘that which you witness is a lie, that which you hear is a lie; only a deep understanding after investigation is true’. When I was quite young, I didn’t understand whatever this meant (I don’t think many children do), how come something I see could not be true because I see it. Well, the apparent meanings are what struck the psyche all the time. But of course, now all of us know what this actually means. The biggest problem of the entire nation of humans is their tendency to judge people by their looks, apparent deeds or the so called facts prevailing around about them. Seriously, fellow humans; facts of a person? Where are we living? What have we come to?

A stranger comes up and tells that XYZ is so and so; and you just believe them blindly. Why? Have we ever thought about that which we are talking about before starting our conversation? Gossip is made extremely lustrous these days that it doesn’t seem wrong anymore. But, little do some know about the consequences a gossip or rumour could create in one’s life. Digging the past and misunderstanding the whole issue of existence of an individual reduces a noble human being to a downtrodden individual in just a fraction of seconds. One minute of talk is enough to destroy the reputation of a person that he/she has strove to build since years. Is this what our forefathers taught us?

Talking isn’t bad. Personally, I myself am a talkative person; you can even call me Ms. Chatter Prattler. But, talking about someone else is worse than anything else. In the words of Islam, backbiting is equal to eating a dead brother’s flesh! On hearing that, don’t you feel like as though someone is pricking your sense with a highly pointed needle? I am no noble human being, none of us are perfect. At some point of our life, we are bound to talk wrong about someone else or just gossip about them, but we, as true believers or just a human being need to consider the consequences of the words we utter. Words are precious; once thrown out; they can never be taken back. They cannot be retrieved, but they can be recycled; only if you take a step down your ego ladder and proceed to ask forgiveness to the person whom you may have hurt directly or indirectly.

Before thinking about the ways you can stop talking behind someone’s back; we need to know what distinguishes between a normal talk and a gossip. Before uttering anything about a person, ask yourself ‘if the person whom I am going to talk about was to sit right in front of me now, will I be able to say that which I am willing to say right now?’ That one simple question can change the whole way you converse with people. As I wrote above, each and every person in this world has a story of their own. We do not know the perfect reasoning or consequence a person has to deal with; for we are mere observers and they are the ones who are living their hearts out. With all the social media around us; sleeping at night has become a chore and some of us do it only because not doing so would cause serious health risks. Otherwise, most of our good times would be spent in knowing or in other words stalking other’s lives and trust me; if you find anything good about that individual, you may forget that in a few days but if something close to bad seems to pop out; that is enough to fuel the conversation for one whole week when even the worse of writers become great storytellers and guess what; they sound so factual!

Communication is essential. It is that characteristic of ours which differentiates us from laggards. We need a drive in our life and to achieve the goal we must communicate. We meet people every day and in the extremely inter-connected world we live in, we have got the opportunity to be best buddies even with the person living under the oceans (mind the hyperbole, nobody lives of course, or do they?). The point that matters is the subject on which you ‘converse’. Weather it may be workplace, school, market, party or wherever; you just have to remember the principles you have set in your lives and should always remember to put yourselves in the shoes of the person whom you are talking about. The other individual (the victim in here) may be an ethical or a complete unethical person; but that does not matter, for he/she also holds onto a soul like you do and he/she also has heart within which cringes on hearing the negative remarks of the people around him/her. It’s not just women (as popularly claimed)these days who talk a lot and gossip A LOT, it is men as well, sort of like a trend eh?

Be careful with your tongue, for it either makes you compassionate or it may betray you. Use it wisely and remember to begin the process of recycling if you have ever at all thrown some litter out there. Wish you all happy days ahead! Talk wise and share a happy slice of your life with someone close to your heart! Do not waste your short life here by dwelling in others’ lives. Care and share but never betray. 

That Honorable Lioness!

From the pen of a woman of obligations and a silent warrior:

‘’I was a good student, a voracious reader and a good writer at times when thoughts sharpened its edges. But now… where am I lost?

Once I hated those mourning serials which were packed with negativity. I always loved to look at the perky side of life and I was filled with determination and hope to change the unjust conventions and to some extent, I hope I did. But now, I am left with no other option other than to look at those mourning and lackluster soaps. I wonder; am I addicted to these things or am I being forced to being the typical one?

Is this the life after marriage and kids? Sometimes I feel as though I am lost in a beautiful maze which makes you want to laugh and smile throughout but yet it gives you the feeling that you are trapped inside it no matter how sugar-coated and lucrative it may seem. I know deep down that somewhere I lack the warmth of my passion which made me want to rise above the skies once upon a time.

Soon after marriage, a woman’s life changes, at the beginning, everything seems to be a gift, even the hurdles would seem to be a present wrapped with thorny wrapper. It’s all beautiful, filled with surprise, delight, romance and dreams.

Then, life takes its turn to surprise us all of a sudden; it changes the woman to be a more responsible person. Expectations and hopes of people around us rise higher and when you fail to meet them, there is an unavoidable grief that grows within you because of the so-called wise advice and comments. There is nothing wrong in having new obligations and duties by your side because it is bound to happen to everyone. But there is something wrong within us and the blame is not to be burdened on anybody else. The fault is ours. We lose a part of ourselves in the wonderland finding a new treasure without knowing that the treasure is nothing other than your ‘passionate self’.

I forgot my favorite book, author and even some of my friends. But that forgetfulness wasn’t forced by anyone, now I realize that it was my fault that I let myself loose when I had to be rigid trying to hold onto my passion and fervor even when other things seemed striking.

There may be numerous changes taking place in your life, but you are you and nobody else other than you can find the missing part of the puzzle called life! No matter how long we drift away from our ‘youth’, a woman’s life turns out to be the same but it only takes a different exterior. Nothing changes internally; an onlooker may find that you have changed, but nothing within you has changed if you are still finding a part of you that is lost. When you realize that you still burn with passion and know that something has to be dug out; trust me you are not the looser.

If you haven’t found until now, why fret? Search for the real you after your kids or even grandchildren, but never give up. Once, you had a dream to be fulfilled and those dreams weren’t the ones which you saw during your sleep, those were something which didn’t let you sleep; and that’s what you are searching for! Never underestimate yourself, you are not a burden; dear woman, you are a blessing and if you consider yourself timid and weak; you are simply underestimating the power of the lioness slumbering within you. Let it out and be a gentle lioness!’’

So, those were the humble words of my aunt who is in a way my inspiration. I hope I have put her thoughts rightly. I couldn’t wait to put this particular article on my blog as I am extremely inclined towards the subject of feminism, women power etc. etc. As much as I know, women are the best dreamers but only some of them have fought for their dreams as warriors. Let us change the perspective of women being the timid persona of our society. Some of the women out there have found themselves long ago as they didn’t care about those gawking looks that the society gave them. The perspective of others don't always matter because when you change the way how you perceive different things in your life, eventually things take a turn and you will find the world revolving around you. Occurrences need not be favourable every time but every other occurrence has a meaning of its own and the mystery is best unveiled. What would our life be without a little exploration to find a huge mystery?

The Huge Embrace!

The foot I set and proceed,

I hear the footsteps of the man of deeds,

Good or bad, God knows what?

But cold or hot

He is there…

How or where, not a single soul is aware.

Paces he forth and back,

Sun shines bright and i see him with his sack,

Burdened on his shoulders… was he lost?

I wondered. Will I leave my beloved that way at any cost?

Fear takes me over,

I see his lips quiver,

Tears blurred his vision,

Was it in any way my sensitive delusion?

I barely stare into his eyes,

My secretive eardrums hear his yearning cries,

Again, I look at him

To realize that tears were on the brim,

Mine or his was hard to say.

Sighting him was a part of my duties everyday,

Why did he walk for so long when he could hardly move his feet?

Why did he walk when his eyesight couldn’t spot a figure complete?

All this I thought as I stared at his white garment,

Fortunately, at that instant my mind acted as a parchment,

Documenting what I wondered about,

But even now, one thing remains a doubt.

Was he lost any way, what shall I say?

For I know not who he is and has long gone far away…

The poem I have written above talks about a man who lives in my residing area. He is extremely old, quite a hunch back I would say. He walks forth and back, from dustbin to God knows where. He collects the waste and throws them into the public bin in my area. I never had the nerve in me to go and ask him what he was exactly up to. Just another type of ignorance shown by me, but I always had the desire to help him; but I just didn’t know where to start it all from. I do not know the story behind that noble man and I am nowhere close to judge his present or past. But everytime I see him, one thing does click onto my mind, not necessarily something about him though. I generally think about all those old people who are suffering similarly and those old parents who can be taken care of extremely well, but instead they are on the roads finding nowhere to go.

Sadly, these cruel things happen in the same world where we have learnt that paradise lies under the feet of the mother. What an ecstasy it would have been for her when she first realized how important she was for this world? What must have she gone through when we spent our cozy months inside her womb? What must have she felt undergoing all the pain but yet she held it all up for she wanted to greet us with her smile? What must have she felt when the same son she held in her hands threw up his hands in air and screamed on her face to leave him alone? What must have she felt on losing her self-worth and eminent position that Allah has blessed her with? Have you ever given a thought about what she undergoes every second she sees you in trouble? Will you be ever that child whom she would proudly declare to be the best and will you be ever that child because of whom she needs not be ashamed in front of Allah or anyone in this world? 

What about the father without whom life would have been just as plain as the sandy deserts? The sleepless nights he had spent with your mother to support you, the immeasurable love he poured out to you, the genuine smile he gave you when things went wrong, when the wise words hit you when you were absolutely blindfolded by the so called pleasures of the world; the days he spent working just because he had to give his children everything they wished for;  the modesty with which he let you dwell into your dreams and leave off the worries to him, and so on goes the list.

 Have we forgotten everything? I am afraid that the answer would be a ‘yes’ by few and I am happy that the answer would be ‘absolutely no’ from many.

To say what they have done for us is needless, but to think what we have done for them is highly important. It is not the materialistic things that they ask for, they just ask for your support and love because that’s what they were hoping to get back when they nourished you all along. There might have been differences, world of conflicting thoughts, endless arguments but let us put all that behind and get on our feet to act rightly. You were once a kid and you asked them a number of questions for which they answered happily with a smile, but now they hardly ask you one single question and that too about your well-being but you just snap at them. Now, you may realize how far we have come.

It’s never too late, run back and embrace their pale bodies. No matter what happened, in the end; yours and their unity is what matters. A wreck in the relationship of mother/father with children is just too horrendous to hear and let alone to think of living in such a manner.  They have put their hands forth for your warmth long ago, but when are you going to do the same?

It was narrated that Abu Hurairah (RA) said: A man came to Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) and asked, “Which of the people is most deserving of my best companionship?” He said, “Your mother.” He said, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He said, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He said, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father.”

(Hadith No. 5971, Book of Al-Adab, Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 8; Hadith No. 6500 (2548), Book of Al-Birr, Sahih Muslim, Vol. 6).